DOWN BOY         By Blue the Shearer

Mum's old dog had caught the mange, this faithful, family pet,
Was losing all his lovely fur, so she took him to the vet.
The vet perscribed a tablet to give the dog that night.
He told her not to force it down, in case the dog should bite.

So she put it in a sausage, put the sausage on a plate,
Put the plate inside the fridge, and went off to the fete.
Dad came home from mustering. He was hungry, tired and hot.
He saw the corker snorker, and he scoffed the bloody lot.

When Mum came home from town, she said:
"Now where's your father at?"
We found him underneath the tank, sleeping on the mat.
When she woke him up, she said: "What's the matter dear?"
"Buggered if I know," he said. "Just scratch behind my ear."

When she found the sausage gone, my Mum near threw a fit.
She rang the vet and told him, and he chuckled quite a bit.
He said: "He should be okay, if he's not already died.
Pat him gently on the head, and tie him up outside."

Dad's about recovered, now, but sometimes, in the park,
He'll lie around, and scratch himself, and race about and bark.
And it gets a bit embarrassing, when he's out with Mum and me.
Whenever nature calls, he cocks his leg against a tree.